(An exercise in the naked truth in MUD advertising. DISCLAIMER FOR THE HUMOR-IMPAIRED: The following is satire. It's a joke. It's not libelous nor is it slanderous. It names no individuals specifically, but speaks in general about the hyberbole often incorporated into ads found at TMC. Enjoy!)

MUNDANE NEW MUD ONLINE!

On my brother's 233 Mhz Dell, I've set up a MUD that just really isn't all that different from any other stock MUD out there. I haven't even given it an original name. I'm calling it 'Age of Achaea on the Threshold of Baldur's Gate.'

I'd like to get players from all those other games to come to mine. Oh, I also want their admins, because I like to boss people around and make them feel small.

I'm pretty sure this MUD's going to vanish in a couple of weeks, but just getting it off the ground will look good on my resume. Heck, I'm shocked I managed to get the hardcode running on my computer at all.

We're probably RP-intensive. I'm not sure what RP means, but I know *I* am very intense. Oh, and you can PK anything you want. The first 100 people who log on get all kinds of spiffy EQ and autoleveling! Okay, so we're PK-intensive. I'm still not sure what RP is (red panties???? Roman Punks??? Hey, that might be cool!).

I rewrote the text files attached to the code to make it look like this is an all-original codebase by me. It's not, though! I haven't had an original thought in my entire life, and I'm lucky if I can code an email properly to go to the right person.

*SIGH!* Well, now that I think about it, this just isn't a very good game at all, no matter HOW MANY CAPITAL LETTERS I EMPLOY FOR THE PURPOSE OF EMPHASIS. You might as well just go to one of the others. Unless you want to come to mine. It's okay if you don't. I'd like it if you did, though. That'd be k00l!

(Anyone else have mock ads to post? :))

c0|\/|3 \/i51t my U1t!|\/|aT3 133t |\/|u|). It's 100% AWSUM SMAUGWARS. Only teh most popyooler areas enclooded. LOTS OF COOL CODE SNIPPETS!!!!*.

(also looking 4 133t c0|)3r5 & /-\|)|\/|||\|5 2 run teh |\/|u|) 4 me so I not hav 2 wurk.)

*soon as I figur out wat 'diffs' and 'patches' R... sum 133t |-|@c|<3R 5cR1pT5 I think.

You forgot to post the address.

What good is an advertisement without an address?

Nick

I am a Fihgtre! I fihgt althe time in REEL LIF! So now
I make a mud, and it is WICKED!

Com join me and my frends as we maek a mud! My frends
are al fihgtres, just liek me! We brake bords with are
heds! We even now the deadly art of sordfish throwing!

We brake meny bords, so u come and hepl us bild! U
bild grate mud, it will be WICKED!

If u don't come hepl us maek mud, we wil throw SORD
FISHES at u! We wil eat yor pets! But if u hepl us
maek mud WICKED, we teech u to brake bords with yor
hed!!!!!!!!!!

O, I get so hapy, I brake keybord....
FGDXFBGXXFRYTWREYGDSFCXHBCGCCCCCGEA%Y^#@$^#$%^YGRDSHTDET

OK! Fix keybord!
U come hepl us maek WICKED mud!

I stop now. To much blod on keybord to maek post.
Byby!

- Velek played his monk Gilbrean once too often... :)

Wanted: All types of idiots who think they will make $$$$'s from my custom base. I will show anyone and their dog my code just to show I'm a ripping off dumb ass *CENSORED*. License? We don't need or care about no stinking license. Come join us as all in our

CUSTOM BASE'S

us belong to.


Qwave ***ooops*** hit backspace a few times, Erm what's a new name I can use. Can someone give me a clue?

MyRippedOffMudFromDikuRomRotAnyOtherCodeYouCanThinkOfAndIKnowByHavingAAddyThisLongEveryOneWillLoveUsEvenMore.Com 666

Join us now and you too can be laughed at by 100's of different people.

I figgured it was obvious myself

ppp-23478245.aol.com port 4000

EvilClone

Looks like you broke one too many boards with your head there... :P If I wasn't 13 hours of flight away from you I'd go over there and fix your head myself!

My fiend and eye beegin knew mud because we no like other mud, we need you. We have many idea. We see all other mud and they crap to ours. We make good mud. We need you. We teach you everything. We make good mud. We better then the wicked mud. They crap. We got good mud idea. We need you help. We start mud case we made at old mud that thought they was wicked. We awesome, we better. You come check us out.

-Cyphir

Ah so, Ai meik gud MUD. You kum hia nao. Ai sho yu hao dum gai maek gud MUD. Tu ge fa, wi maek lit MUD. It call Fa Kien Su Pa MUD. Yu no leik name, yu wun ka. Fa Kein Su Pa MUD at www.yougullible*CENSORED*.com port 3057.

Chin Tu Fat.

--Authors Note

I have nothing against Chinese people, or their culture. This post is purely out of humour, and is not meant offensively.

btw, look at google and look at the languages thay have there: hacker and pig latin included.....

This is how a normal ad for a mud looks.

(Mud name)=War Of The Gods=
(Code)Super Heavily Modified Smaug 1.2(SHMS v.1)(99% stock)
(Adress)alicomp.littlehole.com
(Port)4033
(Admin)Killerfrog (Kill.all@hotmail.com)

(Mud Desc)My mud is the best mud out there today, i have put down much time into the mud and have finally reached opening state. The code is smaug 1.2, very heavily modified (100%). If you want a place to kill and have fun with friends come to my mud. We are currently seeking builders/coders/ and all other people that want to make this mud the best ever!

This mud will be the best when we open up (already opened up).

-Lord Killerfrog -

(Excited you press the connect button and after 10 secs you get into the mud and apply as a builder and is 2 secs after the first tell accepted, while exploring the mud you realize that it looks like the stock smaug code you have on your comp, in lack of time you logout and save your questions for later. 2 hours later you try to login but cant because the mud is gone, the mud is up 2 days later with a totally new look, this time its renamed to Immortal wars and a totaly new codebase. This is where you realize after 1 tell that the owner is between 10 - 15 years because of the language hes using, dissapointed you look at the positions board and apply for a new mud, after the 7th time trying to build for a mud you realize that mudcommunity has been replaced by the teenagers, and decide to retire and have a 5 years old take your place, at least the owner and the builders talk the same language. Thats the story of a 23 years old male mudder with 6 years of building experience.)

*Dont belive verything thats "true"*
*grin*

Have fun all!

> (Excited you press the connect button and after 10 secs you get
> into the mud and apply as a builder and is 2 secs after the first
> tell accepted, while exploring the mud you realize that it looks
> like the stock smaug code you have on your comp, in lack of time
> you logout and save your questions for later. 2 hours later you try
> to login but cant because the mud is gone, the mud is up 2 days
> later with a totally new look, this time its renamed to Immortal
> wars and a totaly new codebase. This is where you realize after 1
> tell that the owner is between 10 - 15 years because of the
> language hes using, dissapointed you look at the positions board
> and apply for a new mud, after the 7th time trying to build for a
> mud you realize that mudcommunity has been replaced by the
> teenagers, and decide to retire and have a 5 years old take your
> place, at least the owner and the builders talk the same language.
> Thats the story of a 23 years old male mudder with 6 years of
> building experience.)


Oh, and let's not forget the false advertizing of the *applicants* for these open slots.
You *know* they didn't read the application they filled out, the ad they're answering,
or the FAQ right next to it, but they try to bluff their way through, positive
that every single MUD is the same.

The look on their faces when they learn that I expect them to (a) be literate in
their native language, (b) earn what they get themselves, and (c) take active
part in administration and strategic planning
is priceless. Sends 'em packing
every time.

Or ask a builder applicant what he wants to do, and he freezes. He has no fragging
clue; someone else has always told him what to make (we don't), not expected him
to do his own ideas (we do). Desperately,
he hopes a smarmy smirk and a
'build duh heh' will bluff him past. You can imagine how I take that.